Struggle with coffee

I am not much of a coffee person now. That is a different story though when I hadn't taken to drinking tea that I would say that I preferred coffee to tea.

Now, my first visit to US happens and in the hotel where I am put up, they have enough supply of milk and sugar and so my coffee does not taste so bad but at the office, it's a struggle. First the machine fills the cup to the brim and I have to spill it a bit so I can take it to my desk. Next the first sip leaves me almost dead as it is as bitter as bitter can be. I take my time and give it some time before the second sip and the next and then the taste slowly settles in.

My friend then suggested adding a bit of creamer and then it started tasting worse. Somehow soon, someone had the sweetner placed in the kitchen and then with the sweetener and the creamer, I could somehow manage a cup of coffee in the office.

Nirbhaya...RIP

They call her Nirbhaya...fearless that is!!!
Her life has made me feel the fear
Her life has made the city feel the fear
Her life has made the country feel the fear....
And the shame!!!
She was Nirbhaya because the country could not take care of her...
She was Nirbhaya because the culprits in the city are all nirbhaya, as in without fear(of law)
She was Nirbhaya because we are cowards...
She was Nirbhaya because I am angry and ashamed
Her life has made us feel the 'bhay' and is this why she is 'Nirbhaya'???
She was Nirbhaya because she still tried to live
She was Nirbhaya because her family will live the pain for ever
But for now, she will be 'Nirbhaya' in her grave!

Clearing the Clutter

Ok, so we are nearly through the year and in a couple of days we will see a year fresh and new! Technically, nothing different is going to happen on the 1st Jan 2013, nor anything going to change overnight. It's just another day except that it will be the end of the holiday season.

I don't really make any new resolution when it comes to making a new year resolution. But I just thought of something even before I woke up from my bed. I could have slept a while longer but the thought of clearing the clutter came to my mind. I was also having a blocked nose and hence could not actally sleep a little more. I have to. I though, clear my nose and also the additional mess I keep on accumulating over days and years.

I started with my shelf and found that there were unnecessary banks statements which were of no use since my acoount with that particular bank must have closed for non activity. Yes, I didn't have any balance remaining to make me fret! Ok, so my shelf looks cleaner, the waste has been done with and I feel lighter.

I am going to target my clothes and shoes next and see how much of these I can do away with. These two days of weekend holidays will be busy for me I guess!

Ok,will I also remove the people clutter from my life and forget those unwanted ones who tend to make your life hell. Fortunately, there's none on the list now.

Ok, I think I will spend less time on FB...well let's see!!! And yes, since I have a new job, may be I will not spend any time on updating my CVs and replying to mails.

Well, lot more needs to be done and I am off for now! Happy New clutter-free year to you all!

Nirbhaya

They call her Nirbhaya...fearless that is!!!
But her fear will live with her, live for as long as she lives...
Her life has made me feel the fear
Her life is making me feel scared
Her life is making the city feel scared
And still she's Nirbhaya, because she lives...
...Because she fights a battle every breath
...Because her organs refuse to live, well almost!!!
She's Nirbhaya because the city cannot take care of her...
She's Nirbhaya because she is sent to a foreign land, to recover or to die, we know not yet!
She's Nirbhaya because the culprits in the city are all nirbhaya, as in without fear of law
She's Nirbhaya because the men in this country are cowards...
She's Nirbhaya because the city scares me now...
She's Nirbhaya because I am angry...
Her life has made us feel the 'bhay' and is this why she is 'Nirbhaya'???

Sachin's retirement

Should he have called it a day or should he have played a little more? Well, I may not be the best judge but I think he was a little late in his calling. He did not get the media coverage that he should have nor the kind of respect that he deserved! His retirement announcement came at a time when India is burning with shame, shame at not being able to protect her daughters and most of the news channels are covering the capital's debate for Capital punishment!

Ok, coming back to where we were, I do agree that Sachin has been one of the greatest players ever and I personally I think he had certain milestone to achieve on the top of his head and he wanted to get there! That was not happening and even me who is a fan thought it was about time he contributed to cricket in other forms than just being on the field. And then the other biggies like Amarnath, Kapil also expressed similar sentiments and it was under this kind of pressure from his fans and critics that he made his decision.

A friend was debating with me on whether he was THE greatest player and I said he was one of the greats and there are or have been other players doing great jobs in their own right. We agreed to disagree here!

I do wish his retirement had come in a more fashionable and graceful way considering all what he has done for Indian cricket. But it came at a time when Indian cricket team is not at its best form and there are ongoing debates on Dhoni's captaincy as well.

But life does not treat you the way you want always. Here is a person who has played all his life, whom the opposition feared but he really deserved a better farewell. I can sympathise with him, I have known this feeling but the best way to deal with life's setbacks is to have lesser expectations, do your bit today and expect the least and all of life's happiness will be yours.

Sachin, much as I feel that you should have walked out a bit earlier but I understand that you are a human and have your dreams and goals and I truly wish and hope you remain on the scene and do more than anyone ever expected!!!

My prayer

Do I pray for her to live?

Perhaps I will be an idealist and say 'yes! Live and fight' !!!

But I think I will pray for her to die once  rather than die every day she lives for the rest of her life...

I will not be able to go and console her, I will not be able to support her...nor will anyone else who prays for her life...

She will be left to herself, and no one to ask...she will die a thousand deaths...a thousand deaths everyday...

So I pray for her to die;  just once...

Delhi, I need an answer!!!

Is it the pain of being a girl, being a female or is it the pain of being weak? I do not have an answer as how to counter the pain, how to be brave and how to fight back. Well, Delhi proved it again that it might be the country's capital but it does nothing for its weak citizens. To top it all, the Delhi CM says she does not have the courage to visit the rape victim, says things are not in her jurisdiction; well why is she here? Why does not that lady resign and demonstrate some moral responsibility?
Truth is nothing will happen, the accused might get a few years of improsonment but law and order will not improve. I don't know how the common people will make a difference and I am searching for an answer. I would want to go on a hunger strike till justice is got but will my family allow that? Will I allow that to myself, leaving my family and work and taking to the streets? The answer probably is a 'No' and no it's not because I don't want to see justice done but because I do not have the courage and the time to spend on someone else.
What can I do? Sign petitions, change my profile pic on FB to display protest and not the last, be safe. But what we can also do is stop being dumb onlookers, reach our phone and call the police whenever we are in close proximity of such an incident but may be we won't do that either. May be we will want to reach our homes and stay safe there.

What do we do then? Stay indoors and reduce the city to a ghostly forest? Or we go out and own a gun, a knife and hit at anyone or anybody who has an ill intention? Is it about time we take the law in our own hands? But we won't do that yet, that point will happen soon when the saturation limit is crossed!!!

Why do I need a boy to travel to me if I am venturing out alone? Why can't I go to a late night wedding, stay sane and not come back home safe? Why do I need someone to pick me up from the airport everytime I reach late? May be I can achieve that if I settle in the west, drive and live by myself and love and live without being bothered? Ok, that might solve my problem but what happens to the country's problems? What happens to those girls who are dependent on their fathers, brothers, husbands and sons???
OK, vulnerable places and people are there everywhere but what does it take to punish the guilty? What proof is needed now? Probably some money has to flow from somewhere so that the guilty can be sent back to their sweet home and with a pat on their back to try it one more time.The 'Breaking News' has happened and now it's time to cool down people, time to get back to your work and life and wait for the next 'breaking news'.

And at these I wonder if my blog title 'Life is beautiful' is just a lie?

Tampa

My first visit to the US happens to be to Tampa, a name which I had not heard before unfortunately. But this name will bring back some memories henceforth.

As goes with me, I tend to compare everything from people to places. The first day on landing reminded me of the only time in Sydney when I had landed in the afternoon and my friend's cousin and her daughter were waiting for me at their apartment. The sea-view on the drive from the airport to the hotel again reminded me of Sydney. I think Sydney will always remain part of my memories like nothing else.

The Residence Inn again reminded me of Goldsbrough. This one is more well kept though. I have the room to myself and though I love the privacy at times, I do miss the Sydney bonding at Goldsbrough or Chatswood.  Okay, breakfast is good but having eggs and potatoes everyday might just turn me to a big round ball.

My biggest regret today is that I don't drive and I plan to add that to my list of to-do things when I am back. My fears need to be conquered.

The first Sunday was spent at the Gurudwara and the Swami Narayan temple. And this again reminded me of the Swami Narayan temple visit in London and how we had to walk and also bear the winter wind.

Clearwaters happened to be an amazing place and loved the drive and specially the crysal clear sand. The blue of the sky and the sea will ever be etched in my memory.

Rides in Busch Gardens again reminded me of Sydey, Luna gardens and the friends with whom I rode several times.

MOSI experience was great too. I liked the interactive games quite a bit and it's a nice place to spend your entire day and that too with children. Did the zip thing, watched the Hobbit at IMAX and had some nice chicken :-)

Three weeks passed almost and I am ready to fly back home. And with talks of apocalypse in the air, and me flying back on the 22nd Dec 2012, I am wondering if I will be thrown to a different world or if I get a greater and beautiful view of the space and outer world, I can tell only when I am home.
I enjoyed the stay and I think the team is great but btep was somehow the bestest!

People and Things

I  tend to associate people with things and events. So, in part of my daily chores I tend to remember people some of them being friends, some random acquaintanes...

When I wake up in the morning, I want to get the important tasks done first like switching the water motor on or opening the main gate to let the maid in. But no,  a certain discussion with a co-worker years back is the first thing I rememeber then. We were discussing culture and he said when you get up from your bed and don't tidy it, half your energy is lost according to some belief. So, no matter in how much rush I am on waking up, I tend to do my blankets first.

I also tend to relate people with people so that when I left a place of work and joined another way back in 2005, I immediately linked an old friend with the new one in terms of looks or character or don't know what. Incidentally, both their first names start with M and each one, though in different places and don't know each other named their first born as 'Aarnav'.

Goes true for two other friends whom I can relate in some way or the other and who don't know each other, they named their daughters Yana and Yuvna. Interesting!

The watch showing the time 10 mins past 10 in shops always remind me of a discussion with friends on why watches displayed in the shops always showed that time in particular. Well, it is all about promoting their brand; the company name became more visible!!!

With names it seems to have so much in common. Two of my friends in two different parts of the world became mothers to a son and daughter respectively on the same day or near by dates. While one called her son Ryan, the other called her daughter Reya!

And just between yesterday and today, I heard from two friends about their baby names, their babies being born within a week's difference, and they have no idea of the existence of the other person and they both decide to call their babies 'Aarav'!!! Strange coincidence! I am in 2013 now updating the original post of 2012 and I shall update more should I encounter more such coincidences!!!

More coming...as and when I remember stuff....

London

A dream came true when I visited London...a dream to see the London bridge :-) The city never lived upto my Sydney expectations and proved to be a dull place climate wise but I did do a lot of shopping around and seeing places. The greenery definitely captivated me....

Years ago, when I was in school, I  had dreamed that I was having my lunch with the Queen and though that dream never actually came true, I got a chance to visit the castles and the palaces.

Love of our parents

Much has been said about the love parents have for their children and much as I grow I understand it more. I am not a parent yet and don't know how good or bad a parent I will turn out to be, if ever but all that I know is I cannnot even think of equalling what my parents do for me or have done for me.

My father goes out every morning to get fruits for me which I can carry to work as a snack and he goes out every morning because he wants me to have the best and the fresh piece. This is so touching and I am almost ashamed that I don't even do half as much of what he does.

This morning I visited an old neighbour and although her child in question is a mother herself, the lady  ensured that her daughter got herself a house of her own. The daughter also mentioned that though she has no intention to move to the new house, she will in turn give it away to her daughter :-)

The games of our childhood and other times

Bagadulli - This was gifted to us my our maternal uncle and it should still be lying in some corner of our house. I am not sure this generation has ever seen it, forget playing.

Other than this Ludo used to be a constant entertainer and so was carrom during the endless winter afternoons. Recently my dad bought a Ludo for my niece and we all sat down to play the same like re-living those pats days.

There are other games which remind me of several things and these are Mario and Gobman. of which Gobman was my personal favourite. I would even dream of it. Then there was those troubles times for project hunting during the final year of my post graduation and me and my roomie would endlessly play Road Rash. Then pin bowling during my job hunting days and recently Bubble Shooter during the project hunting days at work.

These games are etched in memory like nothing else and seeing one play or trying to play myself brings the memories back in no time.

Is this me?

And all these...do they matter anymore?
May be they do, may be they don't....
But why shouldn't they if I care to ask
Has my priorities changed?
But is it just one thing that I can take care of?
May be I am missing, may be I am being missed....
Or may be I should...I should be the same
May be I should be just what I am..........

Trying to understand...

What is it with men and free drinks? Why do they go out of all control and why do they think it's their birth right??? Someone help me understand this please!

The Joys of Reading

This one won be a prize at the Book Lovers contest at my work place.

Reading itself is a joy! At times it transports you to a world where you have never been before; you can visit a new city, live in a house by the sea, bathe in the warm afternoon sun even while you are sipping your cup of tea or while you are traveling. You lose your sense of the presence and jump with joy when the book's lead character has found his/her dream person or you can play a detective and see a murder mystery unfold.

Books show you life and times you would otherwise never know! You could travel back to the Victorian era and learn about the intricacies of dressing or you could travel to the future and live on capsules instead of food. Books help you overcome fear by reading about people who have captured all obstacles and made their mark in human history, books tell you how wars started over petty matters, books show you how some mothers have sacrificed for the sake of their children and books tell you how many a cruel heart has been purified by a little gesture of love.

Books are your friends on whom you can rely any day, they can fit into your smallest of bags and they give you company where others have failed. No matter what stress or tension in life you are going through, you just need to open the right book and your answers will come to you and your tensions will cease. Books as they say, are indeed treasure we need to keep!

Friend once...

Shocked and surprised! So what If I have not been in touch with Paromita since Class X; that's many many years now! But the news of her death has brought back all those memories alive of how we came back from school together, how we spent many winter afternoons gobbling oranges at the backyard of her house or mine, how we spent the Durga Puja days and many more.It has been many many years now and life's other business did not give me much time to remember all these very often and partly because she and her family moved to Guwahati just after our 10th I guess and she never said a formal goodbye before leaving. We both walked on different paths and I don't know if ever she remembered me and felt the need to talk but whatever has been her life like in these years, I wish her peace now.Never once did I try to search her on FB but now that I have heard of the unfortunate end I want to go and look for her and see how she looked like now but there is no point, just no point.Again wondering at the uncertainities of life...in some pain and sadness...

Baba

If mom's been love, dad's been tough
If mom's been angry, dad brought laughter
Holding hands, he led us to school
Riding us on his back, he led us to play
He is the summer sun of my life, he has been the winter's cool
He stays and listens to all my tales
He laughs and jokes when I act silly
He takes pride when I win
He loves seeing me smile
He silently weeps when I am sad
He is the bright star of my life
He is the sun of my mom's life
He's strict on days, he's lenient at heart
He is my doctor, he is my friend
He is my guide
He's my direction

There is a bit of pride in me
There is a bit of pride that i need
Tell me fair when I cross  the line and I shall see from where you stand
I shall erase any bit of ego
But I can't be you, for I am I
What am I if I have to be you?