Smiles and Tears

There are days when there's no reason for the laughters
There are days when I look around to see no one is watching me smile without a reason
But there are also days when a tear just drops, makes it hazy, makes it moist
And on those days, I try to find a reason for that tear and sometimes I find a reasons few
But mostly I never know why, may be the tear just needed to flow
May be it would make the next smile more true, more alive
And on those days, I don't mind that drop
It only empties my mind, makes more room for more smile to grow

My favourite possession

It's funny how I am writing about a small and insignifact thing! It's a black jacket I purchased in Sydney like 8 years back and I still wear it with so much care and the way I feel when I wear is always great. It doesn't make you feel very warm nor does it make you feel cold on very cold days. It's just seems to adjust with the temperature.


I can still remember why I purchased it. It was a little cold in Sydney then and I had very warm sweaters with me which were not needed then and it use to be chilly without it. I can also remember where I bought it from, I can remember the way I hunted for it, the one that should not make me feel very warm, in other words something light.

So many years have passed since but that memory is still fresh, the walk to our hotel throught that mall every evening after work, window shopping and finally a real purchase!!!

A friendly word

This guy who travels in the same cab as I do is someone almsot out of the college and so when I heard him first, I counted him among another know-alls who has yet to learn from life. The other day he was trying to strike a conversation with me by asking me if I was interested in selling my mobile. Well,he knew how to talk to me for sure, he knew I had alsmost 5 times his work experience but he was definitely using his personal skills to talk to me. I haven't mastered that skill yet. I do have convincing skills but I think I don't have the skill to start a conversation.

Another day, another incident again! The cab driver ignored the policemen and took the wrong cut. Don't know why he did that; I sometimes sympathise with them given their work hours are too tough to manage. Anyways, then this kid again went to the rescue, talked to the policemen and though I don't know what exactly they talked about, I certainly know that the driver was saved of a fine.

And Today! Another street rage and this is common in Delhi, the people don't have any patience or time. He was upfront again, talked to the angry young man and offered him water too and lo, he was smiling. We were saved again.

Then he tells the driver not to get angry when a friendly word could save it all. Tip for my day!

I nearly lost my mom's mobile

The season: Durga Puja! Location: Shillong! Weather: Rains! No matter how the weather is, and if you are in Shillong, rain is something of a daily routine almost and for none of these can we ever miss Durga Puja.

I was carrying too much stuff - bags to hold umbrellas, my purse, camera and my Ma's mobile! So I got off from the cab we had hired, I needed to have everything with me. Purse was needed as I could not leave behind whatever little cash I was carrying even though the driver was trusted and we would be back in less than 15 minutes. Camera was needed to capture the season and the festivities and mobile is an all time need anyways. And since it was raining, I could not leave behind the umbrellas too!

So, the mobile  was dropped I and didn't know until I was at the Puja pandal and relaized something was missing. I didn't dare tell anyone for I knew I would be rebuked for my carelessness. The few minutes it took us to get back to the cab, time seemed to be running and I was all thinking about finding it in some corner of the car and in the worst case I had also planned to get the same mobile for my Ma.

Just as I was to get inside the cab, I saw the mobile lying on the street, uncared and since it had a cover on, no damage was done. I picked it up immediately and thanked my stars! Stars, or the Mother Godess or the Rain, but someone or all three of them had just saved my day.

The driver noticed and asked me in serious tones if I had dropped it and though I tried to ssshhh him, my folks got the story. No harm done, the mobile was there and yes it was proved to me that I do carry a blessing with me!

What was called 'Miracle'

That day we survived! It was a miracle and people called it our 'rebirth'!

It was early March 2004, probably 3rd of March! Just a few days before Holi but was kind of warm and sunny. I was working in an evening shift then, 3 pm to 11 pm and I was not wearing a sweater even though I would return late! So it must have been warm! I wore a peach coloured suit and I really used to love the dupatta because it had some embroidery work on it.

We were 7 people on our way to work, three girls occupying the middle seats in the Sumo, one guy at the front seat and three guys behind. All of us were nearly sleepy as the cab drove through the empty Dwarka streets on a warm afternoon. And our friend P at the front seat had just told the driver to slow down. And then I didn't know what was happening...we were hit by another cab and God it was true, our cab was turning and tossing up and down and we came to know later that it had tossed 4 times! And in those few minutes, my mind was blank and wondering if it would all stop at all.

I don't even remember that someone had pulled me out of the cab through broken doors and windows, what I remember that my mobile which was in my hand was lying somewhere and I found it, it's display gone...I found my slippers, wore them and I knew I had cuts, there were little blood stains, my peach colour suit was torn at the back and I was using my favourite dupatta to cover myself up.

P was better than the rest of us tyankfully for he had used the seat belt, and I was better than the rest inspite of the cuts and the pain. J was bleeding badly for the cab had hit her side of the window. A was hurt too but the degree of her hurt came out much later but then she was better than the others then. VS, VK and IL were thrown out like bags as they had not locked the door.

People assembled all around us and some passers by even didn't think that anyone could have escaped alive. I don't remember much of the cab's condition but friends who saw it were nauseating. P did a lot, gathered all the courage, called the PCR, sent us all to the hospital, got first aid for himself before he could make it to the hospital.

Inside the PCR van, we all were shivering in pain and fright, J's head was bleeding and IL and me tried to hold her tight, tell her everything was going to be okay till the time we reached the hospital.

In spite of the terrible nature of the accident, none of us had received any fracture. There were dressings and stitches and three of us were discharged on the same night. The rest were to recover in due time but everyone out of danger!

It took some time for all of us to get back in shape and join work one by one. It was nearly after a month that the last member joined! The finest gesture I ever saw from management was when they got a cake for us to celebrate our rebirth and return and yes, the seven of us cut that cake to cheer our health! And P's heroism was applauded too!

The scar still remains, the pain is long gone and what remains are memories of friendship and togetherness. And memories of a miracle!

Chetana

It was those days when I was a fresher and job hunting was my full time occupation. And even after I had landed with my first job, I was not really satisfied and still hunting. Fate did have something better for me and I made it to a better place.
By the way, Chetana yahoo group use to be a big thing for freshers because they provided solved questions and interview tips along with information on openings. My second job was not a direct result of subscribing to Chetana but when I had that job, I really wanted to help people who were struggling. So, one fine day when my employer posted a requirement and asked for references, I posted it on Chetana. And I forgot to remove the HR's mail id from the original mail and put mine. So, the result was the HR continued receiving mails from everywhere througout the day and they eventually got tired taking the prints of those. I then had to resend the mail and ask people to send me their CVs. This did not stop the Resunme-flow but well as with everything in life, the HR dept did not live with that pain for very long. And I appeared as a total stupid who was responsible for clogging people's mailboxes and draining out the printer ink.

Daughters

Off late I am seeing this quote doing the rounds on internet, sms, facebook etc etc - "A son is a son till he takes a wife, a daughter is a daughter the rest of her life..." I beg to play the devil's advocate here!

Well, the son who gets a wife is also someone else's daughter. Now if she is such a nice daughter to her parents, why does she become the cause for her husband's family to think that their son is no longer theirs. She should then have the understanding and feeling that her husband's parents are not much different from her own parents and that she should not be the raeson for his moving away from their lives...

It's easy for me to form an opinion now and now that I have not been in the daughter-in-law's shoes yet, I don't really know how it is when you are there in that family.

But my firm opinion is that the parents themselves seem to move away from their son and hence the repulsion. So also, the daughter-in-law has been fed with stories of horrible in-laws that she comes with a pre-defined mindset and not ready to mingle.

Your take people?

Maid o maid

Having a help at home often makes you crippled. You get into that comfort zone and from there it's so difficult to come out. Wihout the maid, you would wake up on time as you knew your list of to-do things. But now that she does most of the things for you, the day she decided to take a break, you are at loss.
Last week it happened that not knowing that my dear maid would not turn up, I was following my normal routine and then realized that everything went hayway. I ended up fighting with everyone at home and then the entire day was screwed up because I didn't start the day well.

It happened today again and the reason she gave for her not making it was the rain. I told her that I am not taking a leave because of the rain and if she really wanted to rest, she could have at least called and informed. I told her that why does it take me to remind the same thing again and again? Anyway, today wasn't as bad as the previous one but now I have to wait to see her reaction tomorrow.

My First Class

Teaching does not require me to spend much effort as most of the time I am confident when I know the subject and believe that I can explain it well. I also used to take classes for school students when I was in my graduation days and my best achievement was when a so-called 'good for nothing' student reached 90% after my continuous guidance and I was mighty proud.
Those were the days when I did a lot of study myself and was more confident. But after my post graduation and when I was job hunting, I had opted for a teaching job just to fetch myself some money and also since boredom and frustration would have killed me otherwise! When appearing for my interview, I chose all possible subjects which I could teach so as to give me better prospects for that job. And my first class was of Operations Research, a subject I was not much fond of anyway! On top of that, the first chapter was something about goal setting which I had never studied myself. With only a few hours that I got for preparing myself, I took to a real test of teaching.
Well, I gave my students a very detailed introduction of what we are doing, what we need to do and why we are doing and what my expectations were. You see I had to survive one hour. Then we set out to do an example and I think by the end of the class, I had arrived.
This class,  I learned later, use to be the most notorious class and my first class was actually a litmus test, to ascertain whether I was fit for teaching. And it seems they had okayed me. Later all of them grew so friendly even as I maintained the dignity of being a teacher for students of my own age and may be elder. I was so strict that I would ask them to solve problems in the class and not look at each other's notes. On one ocassion, I asked one of them to use my calculator since he had the excuse that he didn't have one.
This day remains fresh, very fresh in my memory and I know that I can!