My best Christmas memory

My best Christmas memory….... Years ago when I was in Bangalore I met Br Joshy and Br Jobby from my alma mater St Anthony’s college by chance; we hardly used emails then and FB groups didn’t exist! They were finishing their theology course in Kristu Jyoti.  They invited me one Christmas to accompany them to a nearby village where they used to teach. The occasion was Christmas and the event was a talent show for the kids.  I was to judge a dance competition and I was quite at a loss with  myself since I wasn’t born with any artistic skills whatsoever nor did I cultivate any ever!  I cannot forget the reception I received there. Throngs of children in bright toothy smiles gathering to see me. They wanted to know how to address me and Br Jobby quickly said ‘Sister’. So all around I could hear sounds of Hi Sister, Hello Sister, Welcome Sister. When the actual show began, there was no need to judge. I was fascinated by the children and their simplicity. Their dance simply left me enthralled and I wished big  time to join them. But I was a judge! And a Sister!  I scribbled the score each time a new contestant took the stage! I just could not decide who was the best! But I gave 10 on 10 to a girl of 4 or 5 years who came and stood still and smiled till her teeth ached! Br Jobby or Joshi smiled at me and said ‘But she did nothing?’ I said ‘But I am the judge!’

Speechless

Life is just so unpredictable. I woke up this morning with a resolve to give the best to the world. I made an early start to work as well, reading an inspirational message to have a clear vision on the way to any destination. So was I  all enthusiasm, listening to some music, working, was on track and just knew what I needed to do today. But this was not to last as one of my colleagues let me know the piece of news which disturbed for the whole day. Omji Shukla, a team mate left us for some other abode on Sunday night and we had not known it till Wednesday afternoon almost! He has left behind all the hustle bustle, the mad race, the deadlines, the pressure, the joy, the laughter and all of us. Much it pains my heart to think what his family must be going through at this moment to have lost their young son who I hear was supposed to get married in Feb next year. He use to sit just across my desk and I don’t know how many times I have crossed his desk while getting myself a cup of tea. It is empty now and I still I can’t believe that a man who was there till last Saturday is gone forever! The team was shaken and though we are keeping the show running, there is a strange feeling inside that cannot be expressed in words!  I may or may not remember him forever but I can only imagine the void it has left on the life of family and friends. The person who has his desk next to him  must be taking days to accept this bitter truth.  Here was a healthy person, young man who had much to see and do, gone! Gone! Cannot do anything but ask the Dear Creator to teach his family to live without him!

Unknown...

This road is what I tread everyday but why does it seem so new today?
May be I am alone on the road and cannot hear your little whispers...
May be the rustling of the leaves is not so clear without the dash of our laughter
May be the fragrance of the wild flower is lost without your smile
This road does seem long as there are no footsteps to match!
I keep walking and it seems so long
I keep walking and it seems so dark
I keep wondering if you were the one who lit the path
I keep wondering if you were the one made time go by
I keep walking till as far as I can go
There will be some light across the path very soon I am sure...

What Durga puja meant to us as children...

As I try to remember what Puja meant to me when I was a child, so many things come to my mind and I don't know where to start! Puja meant school holidays to start with, Puja meant shoping with parents, it meant what gifts u received and how many sets of dresses we got. Puja meant visiting friends and seeing theirs too and if they had few more than you, hoping that some aunt or some cousin might just gift you another one. Puja meant praying to the rain gods for bright sunny days. On Shoshti, it meant baba taking us to the pandal and buying some gift from the nearby shop. Puja also meant the first time you learnt to apply nail polish or trying to learn to wear heels. Puja meant some pocket money every puja day - 10 from ma and 10 from baba; spending 10 and saving 10. Puja meant the ghoognis and the tetul aachars...oh how it makes me smile now :-) Puja meant some khichuris too but I hated the queue and so bhai use to go and get some home! It meant khichuri in the mission on Saptami. Puja afternoons were spent with parents, pandal hopping and on Navami, it meant chowmein at Eee Cee or wherever! Puja evenings were meant for friends, reserving seats for them and taking turns in having our dinner and spending the rest of the time watching the cultural programms. Navami nights use to be orchestra night and my personal fav was a band called 'Yuva'. We returned in the wee hours of the morning to steal sleep for a few hours and then again to the Pandal with our books and pens on Dashami. Puja also meant some Puja - whether it was rushing to be part of the first Anjali batch and laughing when the main Pandit called out 'Bolun....jayanti....' or watching the evening 'Aarti' competitions. And then the sad part to watch it all end and say ...'till another year', following the crowd as far we could go and sometimes with moist eyes. I think I have been to Polo just once for the immersion. And finally helping ma with the coconut ladoos and waiting for the Aparajitas in the evening. Then say, well it's not the end - Diwali and bhai foota to follow!

Madness as they call it...Feelings as I call it

I stand by the window and watch the moving world
I stand by the window and watch the halted world
I see the sun that shines bright, but I can't feel the warmth
I am trapped within some closed walls
From the window I feel like the winter's here
The sun rays fall but it has no strength to drive my cold away
I feel the wintry winds and I want to step in there,
Oh not here but a little there, a little sunny space is all that I care
Step in where the sun rays might be a little strong
But no I am within some closed walls, and I am cold
The sun rays are there but I am still cold
I know if I just stepped out, I will feel the heat...
The summer heat at it's peak
But from within my closed walls, I feel that winter's near
And me chasing a bit of the sun, here and there

The flowers in our Shillong home

Most of these flowers have been clicked by my brother and planted by my father. I might have randomly clicked a couple but these always manage to remind me of our home and how hard we all tried to make the flowers bloom and more importantly save these from the morning people who came around to pick flowers for the daily Puja. I once remember running after someone after I had discovered that he/she had come to pick the flowers from our garden. He was just too fast and disappeared even before I started to chase.

Love this bunch? Don't you? Even I do. But somehow time and fate has brought us away from all these. And we can enjoy the greenery and the freshness just once a year during our annual visits. And here in Delhi, with so little space around us, we long for these colours.

Much as love these Dahlias, I used to be scared about the caterpillars :-) I remember how we traded tubers, so we could have that variety in our garden.

I don't know what we call these but I sure love its colours.

This one is a rare hibiscus colour. And I simply love the softness that surrounds it.

And this is a delight, ain't it?

Come my way...

A bit dark today...a bit too much
Wondering where that faint bit of light is!
To catch it, hold on to it...
Hold on to it for a while longer till I see it glow bright
Hold on to it for a while longer till I see it glow brighter
I need that faint bit of light as soon as I can have it
To take me out of the dark that is now...