It's perfectly OK to talk

I was talking to this young girl whom I have known since she was a kid. I did not see her much during her growing up years however when she told me she was suffering from depression I was left speechless and though I did not say anything on her face, in my heart I had questions like why, how, what...

I didn't ask her why or since when but from what she told me spontaneously I could figure out that it was pressure, pressure to perform at her studies, pressure to be like her classmates or outshine them and most importantly the comparisons between her and her elder sibling. And that came from all corners - relatives, cousins. Thankfully her parents were supportive and she is well on her way to lead a normal life.

And this incident reminded of someone else who unable to deal with the pressures of his professional course and started behaving different and it took some time for his family to deal with it and get him out of it.

What I don't understand or know is whether such symptoms are on the rise today considering the rat race for which we are prepared for right from our childhood! Dance class, music class, swimming class, foreign language class and what not! Give it a break please, dear parents! Don't let your child do everything that you wanted to do and could not do whatever might have been the circumstances then! Let her choose whatever she is interested in!

And to everyone, young or not-so-young, please talk! It does not do any good keeping things to yourselves and trying to solving it all by yourself! Don't do that! Talk to friends, cry if you must but don't think you are alone! Every one goes through ups and downs in life and there is no magic available to come out of it. It takes time, patience, family and friends to help one out of a situation. Speak, get some advise and walk ahead! Don't compare your journey with anyone else's.

Go for the right reason and you will only have smiles

At a gathering of some family friends this was the discussion that was happening! The bride in question had spent some time with her husband and his family and returned to hers! Then after spending quite a good time with her parents she decides to file a case against her husband and in-laws. On what? Dowry and related harassment!

Have we not heard this very often? I guess most of us will utter a resounding yes! But not many of us will dive deep into the truth and the facts. And as was apparent in this discussion that the girl did not know what she wanted or may be she knew the intricacies just too well. She filed some case, she did not want to withdraw that, she wanted to come back or not I was not too clear but what I got from the overall discussion was she was waiting for the husband to take the calls. That would ensure that she would get a huge alimony since it was the husband who asked for it!

I hung my head in disbelief but somewhere my heart knew that this was not the only instance of taking advantage of a benefit that one has been entitled to! So you see society has reached that point where even a institution like marriage is used for trading, counting the benefits and deciding what next steps to take depending on the benefits!

I am not sure if ever we as human beings will come out of this give and take complicity and simply live life as it is meant to be lived, not on any terms but simply because you love it that way!

That brings me to the essential question of marriage! Why is that such a necessity to survive in a society and why money and benefits become the most important factor?

A few days back I read how the internet was trending with the news of Suhasini Mulay's marraige, four years back, when she married at an age of sixty! Why is it a big news? She married when she wanted to! But if the news is making positive impact, well then it should be a news! A big one! Let us strive for a society where feelings matter!

Education or Business or simply a joke?

Often I wonder why our universities don't rank among the top universities of the world and often I have realized that our educational system does not fund enough research work perhaps because we are a generation of muggers! We believe in quick wins, we believe in use and throw! No wonder why we have never perfected any art! We are jack of all trades and master of none.

And it starts early, from school and its deteriorating day by day. I don't know what I am going to write here applies to everywhere in India or not, I am simply citing an example of Delhi, yes Delhi, the country's capital! Here is a class VII student and his holiday homework is like a paperwork on pollution, what causes it and who are the victims. Okay, as far as understanding the causes of pollution I can say that this will add to his knowledge but when he is asked to interview people who suffer due to these causes I am left speechless! First this is not something a holiday homework is made of, second why would someone discuss his or her ailments with a young boy? I am not sure what this homework is aimed at! And what value is received by writing on a colored paper in multi colored ink! And when I ask the same student if he knew how many states India has, there was no answer! I just don't understand today's educational system! What fun in fancy note pads and all colorful outside and a hollow inside!

And above all, its not that the child is doing all by himself! This is a burden to the parents except for the fact that the parents are also learning but the intent of these holiday home works is not clear by any means! Also these days the holiday homework etc are uploaded on internet, shared on whatsapp etc...but why? Is this utilizing technology or simply creating unnecessary burden for the student and his/her family. Okay its good to be techn savvy but to what extent?

I really want to know what the school does with these papers, do these go to the waste basket? We talk of saving our environment, is this the way? Or more importantly does the teacher have the time to check each of these assignments and provide feedback to the students, other than awarding some marks? And is the child really learning something or is in a hurry to get the homework finished before the school re-opens.

I think it's time to review the educational system, I also think parents collectively should question the logic behind mindless holiday homework. I read only today that India is the second most obese nation in the world. Instead of driving the children and their parents  to compulsory internet connections why not drive them to the playground, to a session of yoga or simply a daily morning walk. I reiterate the right to question  the schools, the syllabus and the educational system.

In Pursuit of Fairness

It starts when you are in your mother's womb! People will advise her to eat Paneer so you are born fair! And I am not joking! The first question your granny will ask your dad after you are born is 'Is she fair or dark?' Of course the very first question will be 'Is it a girl or a boy?'. Consider you are born fair, the first hindrance to your finding a groom is resolved and yes, the groom hunt syndrome starts that early! But if it is otherwise, expect a lot of blame to fall on your mother and ultimately you are going to have to deal with a society which is chasing its pursuit of fairness!

And forget about the peers who you have to deal with, the television will bombard you with fairness products, either making you feel low or making you spend money on those useless cremes. So it will seem to you that the only way to land to a job of your dreams is when you are fair. Same with marriage!


And I hate it the most when I see a Fair and Handsome ad. No, I don't really hate but I want to laugh hard at the dumbness of the people who call themselves creative people, God knows what gave birth to the fairness concept. Well, actually its cheating the innocent and under confident people  and making money of their fears!

I forgot the matrimonial ads! Wanted fair girl! What if that fair girl had no brains? What if that fair girl was not the one the boy loved! Well, well..I never understood!


Okay I understand they have a product to sell and they can go to any limits but what about the role models who don't even know what their bank account looks like, why do they endorse these products? What message do they send to the society? So, it comes as a welcome relief when someone like a Kangana Ranaut says no; she doesn't care for the money nor the brand name. This is the way an example is set! Freida Pinto once mentioned ""If a cream can give you confidence, then you really have to check your whole confidence department in the first place." so, ladies before you fall out for these products check your confidence department, you don't need a dash of colour, you need a bit of strength! Also remember to watch out the chemical components and make sure you are not ruining your skin for good!

Cherrapunjee

Cherrapunjee is a name familiar to mostly everyone. It boasts of the heaviest rainfall in the earth. This place is locally known as 'Sohra' and is located in the East Khasi Hills of Meghalaya!

The beauty of Sohra is breathtaking and the best part of it is that it has not been much commercialized unlike most other hill stations. The natural surroundings, the trees, the streams and of course the  waterfalls all add to the beauty.

The drive from Shillong to Cherrapunjee is awesome! All around the clouds float covering the mountains and in summers the vast green is a treat to the eye! Waterfalls worthy of note are the Wakaba waterfalls, the Seven Sisters and the Nohkalikai! One can stand there for hours and watch the view and occasionally one can spot the rainbow as well forming against the falling waters when the sun rays strike at the appropriate angle! One can view the plains of Bangladesh very clearly from Seven Sisters!

The other point of interest are the caves! These are caves of natural limestone formation. Mawsmai caves are a must for everyone who are in for a little bit of adventure!

Cherrapunjee is also famous for its living root bridges. Over hundreds of years the people in Cherrapunjee have developed techniques for growing roots of trees into large bridges. The process takes 10–15 years and the bridges typically last hundreds of years, the oldest ones in use being over 500 years old!

A must visit place I must say and go during summers if you love to get a bit of the rain fun!

The Road

That road and that path are so etched in the memory, that turn and that curve I could walk in my dream, that slope I could climb blindfolded till the end of time...that corner where we friends gossiped and those blocks where the kids played and that forbidden lane too...my home, oh my home...clear in my thoughts, crystal clear always it will be!

Book Review: Animal Farm

Featured in BBC's list of must-reads George Orwell's "Animal Farm" is one book which escaped my attention all this while until a friend recommended it to me recently. Animal Farm is the very familiar setting of any society, a race, or a creed who after being oppressed for long enough decide to fight against the odds. A leader or a group of leaders, visionaries come to the rescue and the common man believe in these new set of leaders and a mass movement takes place. So happened in Animal Farm where inspired by Old Major, Snowball and Napoleon rise to the occasion and spend time, effort, energy and thought and revolt against Jones ultimately chasing him away! The new breed are full of hope, hope for the future and with their enthusiasm are capable of turning dreams into reality. They succeed initially and with a bit of beginner's luck and support of the masses are actually able to make progress.

But power corrupts and has corrupted generations and Animal Farm was no exception. Napoleon in his arrogance, pride and some bit of insecurity plots a story against Snowball, eliminates his political rival very cleverly and spreads all sorts of rumors and lies. The followers are left in a state of confusion, fear and not able to decide right from wrong. Sometimes they trust blindly and sometimes in a state of helplessness. This goes on and on and hardly does anybody realize that the original values have been compromised for, the trust has been misplaced and self interest has taken a priority over everything else. So Napoleon of our Animal Farm has not only managed to dismiss Snowball from the followers' memories but in his arrogance has taken the role of a dictator. He enters into partnership with his original rivals, for this game of politics and power is such that one becomes his/her own slave, distinguishing between what one is, to what one was and what is right is clouded. Benfits take precedence and values take a back seat. 

Flatterers are favored, hard work is ignored and those little struggles are banished. Honest opinion and sincerity are not respected, not appreciated and the honest die their natural death.No care was taken when the hard worker Boxer was sick and he actually gets killed. And the watchers watch in silence!

But nothing lasts forever and in the battle for power, no one wins and at the end one can't just distinguish between who was what!

As put by my friend, timeless!